a big mess and a special thank you

some days i feel pounded by imperfections. i try to cover my flaws, but i remember, there is no hiding. pure transparency with my Father, who has the perfect aerial view of each thing i’ve broken, bumped into, stumbled over, and the messes i’ve left for someone else to clean up. he picks each mess up and cleanses and chooses them as special chapters in the book he’s writing for me. a book that’s unswerving in love, security, and his presence. an immaculately written book that exceeds dreams and protects me.

i am left in awe, and at this moment, all i can say is thank you. 

we are

we are a human race soul-battling for freedom, fulfillment, & justification of love. we are searchers in the thick of a night so dark, we stumble into endeavors that test us and throw our hearts and emotions in circles. we wear distorted, crooked glasses that twist our vision looking outward AND looking inward. we are deceitful artists who present our lives as imperfectious, pure, and whole. we are shaky-handed seamstresses who sew sentences together that can be flawlessly stitched or painfully broken, but can never be unthreaded. we are hand-crafted by a father who wins the award for being the most creative. we are sinners who are loved unconditionally by a sinless creator. we are called to walk in freedom, yet we become crippled by baggage that carries sin, struggle, scars, and tears. 

in Luke 5:36-39 Jesus says “no one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it on an old garment. if he does, he will tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. and no one puts new wine into old wineskins. if he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. but new wine must be put into fresh wineskins.

we carry a bag of broken histories on our backs. we are master collectors who pick up previous pieces rather than new ones. we live an open-wounded life looking in the rearview mirror, anticipating a glimmer of something that brought temporary joy, to come back in and be the savior that fills a piece of our heart that the thing itself left us empty. how can we move forward if we won't even hit the gas? how can we drive if we are constantly looking behind us?

don't miss letting Jesus be the driver. let him drive you through the hills, the valleys, all the seasons, and keep you steady and accompanied, rather than alone. he is here and waiting with open arms to lead you. 

i am

there is something about fall. always has been, always will be. the air gets crisp, colors change, and everything under our little bubble of an atmosphere seems to change... days get shorter, darkness lingers, and cold air bites. there is beauty in every season, even the one's we find dry, too hot for us, rainy, too cold for us, and of course the one's that feel just right. at the beginning of each season, i tend to feel a sense of being uncomfortable as my skin gets bit by the cold, and scorched by the sun. the ground dries, then cracks, is nourished by rain, and eventually has seedlings sprouting and blooming into small handfuls of happiness. i have a thing for flowers. for succulents. for trees. for leaves. for nature in general. something about God's creation leaves me in awe, every.single.time. even the simplest of things, i am constantly amazed by the hands of our creator. as each season comes and goes, i find myself falling in love with Jesus over and over again, because through every season he prevails and is with me. through the dry seasons when i feel exhausted, spiritually and mentally drained, and through the ones where my soul feels rich and the Lord's presence is heavy. regardless of what season life brings me, i am a tree, rooted in the nourishing soil that Christ provides. the roots that cling deep and tight to the lifeline that gives endlessly. sometimes the rain pours from the sky and i get an extra drink of water, leaving me feeling refreshed. sometimes the winds blow and i shake, my branches fall off, and i am left bare. due to my foundation being rooted in something not on the surface, but something deeper, the nutrients through where i am found give me the strength to continue to stand as a tall tree and develop new branches. these branches are always better than the last & are multiplied. they produce beautiful fruit. fruit that is sweet and pure. fruit that i can give to others endlessly, due to the nutrient generators my roots serve as. i see trees around me that's roots cling to grass, sometimes concrete, things that can be shaken. this leaves the base of their stump exposed, for any animal or creature, to chew it apart and destroy it. these trees fall over when the winds and storms come. as much as i want to replant those trees, i cannot. all i can do is encourage them to dig their roots deep into the plentiful and abundant soil & share with them how life sufficient & worthwhile it is. this is an option for them, as it is for me. choose to be rooted.